In my book A Mid-Life Challenge--Wake Up! I council individuals to target a personal "lottery winner's mentality." As positively renewed and focused men and women each one of us can look, act and feel like a million dollars without winning or inheriting a dime. We do so by crunching the numbers in advance, developing disciplined and comprehensive short and long-range budgets and plan of attack, making necessary sacrifices up front then launching without delay a purposeful journey to our chosen destination.
All of this sounded a lot better on September 30 than it does today. Since the end of last month, the U S stock market has surrendered 27% of its value. How do we maintain a lottery winner's mentality when our personal pool of assets keeps shrinking? I can't raise stock prices but I can offer this bit of advice:
1) Set aside time for periodic asset review and goal adjustment. Perodically recrunch your projections--then move on to better things. Do not squander time every day worrying about where the stock-market will open, the price of gas or what new tax might be imposed. Personal note: in light of recent portfolio declines, I recently redid our family financial plan based on worst case scenario projections; my wife and I determined that with certain modest adjustments, we will be just fine. I will re-visit my finances at the beginning of November.
2) Take charge of those events you can control and stop fretting over those you can't. None of us alone can will the stock market go up. Each one of us has only one vote in the upcoming Presidential election.
3) Stop listening to politicians and the media who keep telling us we are in the worst shape since the geat depression. Fear and depression feed upon themselves. Ask yourself personally how you , your family and those in your circe of inluence are doing. Concentrate on helping the less fortunate among your friends and community. By concentrating on solutions for others where we can make a difference, we will spend less time worrying about ourselves or the world at large.
4) Always remember, you are striving for the same positive goals you sought last month. The world may have changed, but your ultimate objectives don't need to. Be on constant look-out for favorable signs of a better tomorrow. Financial set backs in America have always been and will continue to be finite.
I trust during the present financial turmoil we all will remain the confident, postive individuals God intends us to be. Please post your response if or e-mail me at:
roy@middleagerenewal.com
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
A Mid-Life Prescription for Stock Market Madness Stress
As a renewed individual fast approaching my "senior years", I have uncovered an ideal prescription for the current stock market disaster and related election year posturing---ignore both! I know my retirement investment portfolio is much smaller now than it was last week, but I don't need the funds any time real soon so why worry myself sick about it? I cetainly don't want to sell off in panic! My wife and I have already voted absentee (I won't tell you who for) so I don't need to trouble myself with inane presidential debates where each candidate points fingers at his opponent and promises almost everything to everbody--oh and each will solve the present financial crisis (neither specifies precisely how) in their spare time! This is a great country. We have enormous human resouces and in time we'll solve our problems with American ingenuity whether Obama or McCain gets elected.
I am in far better spirits now that I've eliminated CNBC, Fox News and CNN from my daily agenda. (Let the all-knowing media talking heads inform someone else!) Besides the weather here has been beautiful--great for working in the yard or jogging in the park. If at some point I need to inform myself how poor I have become, I can always tune in later and limit my stress to that particular hour. Perhaps the market will have recovered at least partially by then anyway. For the immediate future I will limit TV viewing to the baseball playoffs, the world series, college football and an occasional three or four-star evening movie if it sounds promising.
One thing I ask of my fellow mature concerned citizens. Calling all Boomers and members of the Silent Generation! Once the dust begins to settle, it will be up to each one of us to help guide less experienced members of our families, neighborhoods, companies and communities back to a solid financial footing. Our perspective has been refined through 20, 30 or more years of responsible adult living.. At some point most of us have experienced life's ups and downs. We have been there and done that! We know how to filter innovative political and private sector "solutions" through the hard lenses of reality. It is also our task to critique proposed remedies which go too far. To survive and prosper, our country must retain and nurture personal incentives for freedom of choice, entrepreneurship and personal responsibilityt. A message to politicians: we expect you to reign in excesses of greed and speculation but please don't damge or destroy our entire free-enterprise economy!
Let's get a dialogue going! I would like to hear from others on how you are managing financial-related stress. How do you propose to solve the country's credit related disaster. I would especially like to hear from individuals nearing retirement who will need to access pension funds, IRA's or 401(k)'s in the immediate or near-term future. How are you avoiding cracking under the stress? How do you take charge and overcome fear?
Please post your own blog on this site or e-mail me at roy@middleagerenwal.com.
I am in far better spirits now that I've eliminated CNBC, Fox News and CNN from my daily agenda. (Let the all-knowing media talking heads inform someone else!) Besides the weather here has been beautiful--great for working in the yard or jogging in the park. If at some point I need to inform myself how poor I have become, I can always tune in later and limit my stress to that particular hour. Perhaps the market will have recovered at least partially by then anyway. For the immediate future I will limit TV viewing to the baseball playoffs, the world series, college football and an occasional three or four-star evening movie if it sounds promising.
One thing I ask of my fellow mature concerned citizens. Calling all Boomers and members of the Silent Generation! Once the dust begins to settle, it will be up to each one of us to help guide less experienced members of our families, neighborhoods, companies and communities back to a solid financial footing. Our perspective has been refined through 20, 30 or more years of responsible adult living.. At some point most of us have experienced life's ups and downs. We have been there and done that! We know how to filter innovative political and private sector "solutions" through the hard lenses of reality. It is also our task to critique proposed remedies which go too far. To survive and prosper, our country must retain and nurture personal incentives for freedom of choice, entrepreneurship and personal responsibilityt. A message to politicians: we expect you to reign in excesses of greed and speculation but please don't damge or destroy our entire free-enterprise economy!
Let's get a dialogue going! I would like to hear from others on how you are managing financial-related stress. How do you propose to solve the country's credit related disaster. I would especially like to hear from individuals nearing retirement who will need to access pension funds, IRA's or 401(k)'s in the immediate or near-term future. How are you avoiding cracking under the stress? How do you take charge and overcome fear?
Please post your own blog on this site or e-mail me at roy@middleagerenwal.com.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
A Model for Mid-Life Renewal--and She Left Us at Age Thirty
Middle-age renewal can never be achieved in a vacuum. As a speaker, consultant and author of two books on mid-life revitalization, I consistently counsel those striving for a positive, achievement-filled second half to initiate warm caring relationships with those around them. I bet like most of you, I do not always practice what I preach. All too often, I find myself intolerent of human foibles, critical of shortcomings in others and inflicting a negative rather than positive mood on friends, loved ones, even casual contacts.
Out of personal tragedy, I have discovered an ideal blue print for the renewed positive individual I seek to become. Our daughter Kristen Richards was killed at age 30, on the final day of 2006 piloting a small plane over San Diego. I always knew that Kristen was self-assured, pursuing her career and personal goals with unbridled passion. I also knew that she died performing the precise vocation of her dreams. An accomplished Naval aviator who had flown missions in the Mideast, South America and the North Atlantic, Kristen had recently left the military and was transitioning to commercial aviation. What I did not know about was the uniformly positive influence Kristen had on others.
Shortly after Kristen's death, my wife Gloria and I received a letter of consolation from Kristen's close friend in California. I would like to share a portion of that letter with you:
"I knew Kristen less than two years, but somewhere along the way she became my best friend in San Diego.... Kristen was unique and I admired so many things about her. She was the most independent person I have ever known. When a young life is cut short I often think of all the things that person missed out on. I do not have that regret with Kristen because she lived life to the fullest. She created any opportunity she wanted and stubbornly accomplished any goal. She was not detoured by things that would hold others back such as time, money or lack of a travel companion. I can do some things alone but I was so impressed with how Kristen could do anything alone. I would sometimes worry about her when she would take off on international trips, concerts, hikes, etc. without a companion. She always returned safely with the most fantastic stories."
"Kristen was very genuine....I never had to wonder if Kristen was talking about me behind my back; she did not do that to her friends. In fact, I found out that once when surrounded by a group of girls that were talking unkindly about me Kristen yelled out, 'Hey, hey!' until she got everyone's attention, then said, 'Don't you think we can all just be happy for our friend?' She always spoke her mind and did not let an opposing popular opinion hold her back. Being in a male dominated field encouraged her to hone her wit on those who might mistake her for a weak or delicate female. She made me laugh two weeks ago when she offered her assistance to a man struggling to put something in a freezer. He said, 'No, I've got it. This is a man's job." Kristen's quick retort was, 'Well, I can do just about anything better than a man so you may want to accept my help.' (Delivered with a huge smile, of course.)"
Kristen's insight helped me to better deal with problems and challenges as we often exchanged advise. When I was offended by a friend's behavior Kristen listened to my plight then suggested I give the friend some understanding and forgiveness since she was clearly unhappy. Kristen also warned me of people who were not my friends and encouraged me to follow my instincts when feeling betrayed. I headed her warning because she was so sincere and did not burden me with the details of what she said. Once when someone accused me of being crazy and in need of mental help, Kristen laughed out loud proclaiming, 'Yeah, I know I am crazy. So what!' Her point was that the sooner we all admit we are a little off, the sooner we get on with things. I loved that about Kristen! She embraced her own uniqueness, her own craziness. She also openly embraced the strange quirks of others. She accepted people as they were without asking them to apologize or be ashamed of their uniqueness. People gravitated toward Kristen because they were comfortable being themselves around her."
"Kristen saw the best in others and did not stand for bullying. One of the first qualities I noticed about Kristen was that she did not scrutinize anyone's physical appearance. While others may point out a weight issue, a big nose or bad skin, Kristen seemed to not even notice. When she looked at someone she always took note of their most beautiful feature and would complement them on it. I would often hear her telling friends and strangers (men and women) how they had fantastic eyes, nice freckles, perfect teeth, etc. I would see the person rise up, blooming under the complement. I was at a club with Kristen one night when a group of guys were openly taunting a guy dancing to his own beat. Kristen waved the guy over and danced with him as the hecklers stared in disbelief. The gentleman left smiling with head held high; Kristen had made his evening."
"Unlike most women, Kristen did not contrive to hide or dwell on her own imperfections. Rather, she confidently noted qualities she liked about herself and sought out companions who appreciated those qualities. She would encourage me to do the same. Sometimes self-conscious, I would start to be embarassed by something like my frackles coming out in the sun and Kristen would say, 'Why? Freckles are hot! I love my freckles!" Being around her changed the way I saw both myself and other people."
"There are so many wonderful things to say about Kristen. She was a light, a motivator and an inspiration in my life. I believe we would have been life-long friends. Kristen often told me I was a true friend to her. I hope she knew that she was also my true friend, that I loved her and will miss her very much. She did not want to grow old, fretting over her birthdays. It comforts me a little that she will not age and in my mind she will always be young, beautiful, strong, healthy and vibrant....I hope that you may find some peace in knowing that your daughter brought so much to my life and the lives of everyone she met."
I trust the above letter from Kristen's friend will inspire you as it has me. I thank her friend for writing it and will always cherish her kind description of our daughter. As you and I move forward at mid-life as renewed, goal-oriented women and men, I trust that each one of us can have a similar positive influence on at least one other person this very day. I would love to learn about other role models! Please share similar descriptions of people who have inspired you. Post your own blog here or e-mail me at roy@middleagerenewal.com.
Out of personal tragedy, I have discovered an ideal blue print for the renewed positive individual I seek to become. Our daughter Kristen Richards was killed at age 30, on the final day of 2006 piloting a small plane over San Diego. I always knew that Kristen was self-assured, pursuing her career and personal goals with unbridled passion. I also knew that she died performing the precise vocation of her dreams. An accomplished Naval aviator who had flown missions in the Mideast, South America and the North Atlantic, Kristen had recently left the military and was transitioning to commercial aviation. What I did not know about was the uniformly positive influence Kristen had on others.
Shortly after Kristen's death, my wife Gloria and I received a letter of consolation from Kristen's close friend in California. I would like to share a portion of that letter with you:
"I knew Kristen less than two years, but somewhere along the way she became my best friend in San Diego.... Kristen was unique and I admired so many things about her. She was the most independent person I have ever known. When a young life is cut short I often think of all the things that person missed out on. I do not have that regret with Kristen because she lived life to the fullest. She created any opportunity she wanted and stubbornly accomplished any goal. She was not detoured by things that would hold others back such as time, money or lack of a travel companion. I can do some things alone but I was so impressed with how Kristen could do anything alone. I would sometimes worry about her when she would take off on international trips, concerts, hikes, etc. without a companion. She always returned safely with the most fantastic stories."
"Kristen was very genuine....I never had to wonder if Kristen was talking about me behind my back; she did not do that to her friends. In fact, I found out that once when surrounded by a group of girls that were talking unkindly about me Kristen yelled out, 'Hey, hey!' until she got everyone's attention, then said, 'Don't you think we can all just be happy for our friend?' She always spoke her mind and did not let an opposing popular opinion hold her back. Being in a male dominated field encouraged her to hone her wit on those who might mistake her for a weak or delicate female. She made me laugh two weeks ago when she offered her assistance to a man struggling to put something in a freezer. He said, 'No, I've got it. This is a man's job." Kristen's quick retort was, 'Well, I can do just about anything better than a man so you may want to accept my help.' (Delivered with a huge smile, of course.)"
Kristen's insight helped me to better deal with problems and challenges as we often exchanged advise. When I was offended by a friend's behavior Kristen listened to my plight then suggested I give the friend some understanding and forgiveness since she was clearly unhappy. Kristen also warned me of people who were not my friends and encouraged me to follow my instincts when feeling betrayed. I headed her warning because she was so sincere and did not burden me with the details of what she said. Once when someone accused me of being crazy and in need of mental help, Kristen laughed out loud proclaiming, 'Yeah, I know I am crazy. So what!' Her point was that the sooner we all admit we are a little off, the sooner we get on with things. I loved that about Kristen! She embraced her own uniqueness, her own craziness. She also openly embraced the strange quirks of others. She accepted people as they were without asking them to apologize or be ashamed of their uniqueness. People gravitated toward Kristen because they were comfortable being themselves around her."
"Kristen saw the best in others and did not stand for bullying. One of the first qualities I noticed about Kristen was that she did not scrutinize anyone's physical appearance. While others may point out a weight issue, a big nose or bad skin, Kristen seemed to not even notice. When she looked at someone she always took note of their most beautiful feature and would complement them on it. I would often hear her telling friends and strangers (men and women) how they had fantastic eyes, nice freckles, perfect teeth, etc. I would see the person rise up, blooming under the complement. I was at a club with Kristen one night when a group of guys were openly taunting a guy dancing to his own beat. Kristen waved the guy over and danced with him as the hecklers stared in disbelief. The gentleman left smiling with head held high; Kristen had made his evening."
"Unlike most women, Kristen did not contrive to hide or dwell on her own imperfections. Rather, she confidently noted qualities she liked about herself and sought out companions who appreciated those qualities. She would encourage me to do the same. Sometimes self-conscious, I would start to be embarassed by something like my frackles coming out in the sun and Kristen would say, 'Why? Freckles are hot! I love my freckles!" Being around her changed the way I saw both myself and other people."
"There are so many wonderful things to say about Kristen. She was a light, a motivator and an inspiration in my life. I believe we would have been life-long friends. Kristen often told me I was a true friend to her. I hope she knew that she was also my true friend, that I loved her and will miss her very much. She did not want to grow old, fretting over her birthdays. It comforts me a little that she will not age and in my mind she will always be young, beautiful, strong, healthy and vibrant....I hope that you may find some peace in knowing that your daughter brought so much to my life and the lives of everyone she met."
I trust the above letter from Kristen's friend will inspire you as it has me. I thank her friend for writing it and will always cherish her kind description of our daughter. As you and I move forward at mid-life as renewed, goal-oriented women and men, I trust that each one of us can have a similar positive influence on at least one other person this very day. I would love to learn about other role models! Please share similar descriptions of people who have inspired you. Post your own blog here or e-mail me at roy@middleagerenewal.com.
Friday, October 3, 2008
The Essence of Middle Age Renewal--Set Your Own Goals!
When we think about, the current credit crises, stock market meltdown and $700 billion Federal bail-out is mostly about keeping up with or exceeding what someone else has. Too many of us listened when unethical real estate brokers or mortgage lenders convinced us to buy that bigger house we really couldn't afford. Bank A inflated near-term profits by relaxing loan standards or leveraging assets more than Bank B. Those financial hot shots in Investment Bank C just had to come up with a more fanciful packaging of over-valued sub-prime mortgages so that their year-end bonuses would exceed contemporaries in Investment Bank D.
A primary goal of middle age renewal is to sharpen focus upon realistic personal and family objectives. Forget about what someone else may have! Our ultimate target is to establish genuine mid-life financial and emotional balance. Our primary goal is not wealth accumulation per se but lifelong peace of mind which flows from from an adequate mating of lifestyle objectives with sustainable financial resources. Lottery winners' only true prize is the ability to choose presisely how they wish to spend the remainder of their productive lives..
I know you probably did not win Power Ball or inherit $10 million from a rich uncle.. Like it or not, 95% of us in middle age cannot ignore the need to earn a living. (In view of the stock market swoon, more of us enter the "need-to-continue-working" club every day.) Will someone pay us to have fun in our jobs? Realistically, few can expect to enjoy every single working hour of every single day but there is no good reason why any truly renewed mid-lifer need remain in a stressful, non-fulfilling occupation.
If you are less than fully satisfied with your life and occupation today, begin by asking yourself how much income and/or personal financial resources you really need. How much will you require now and in the future to guard against uncertainty and maintain the lifestyle you and your significant others desire? Your objectives should never be based upon what someone else has. Personally, my personal desires do not require the income of certain Wall Street investment bankers who in December, 1999 complained that a $7 million end-of-year bonus was not adequate because contemporaries in a competing firm were receiving $10 million.(I'll bet those Wall Street bankers won't receive a $7 million year-end bonus this year!)
The goal for each one of us at mid-life is to establish an authentic lottery winner's mentality without winning a dime. To accomplish this, each one of us needs to resolve three deeply personal issues:
A primary goal of middle age renewal is to sharpen focus upon realistic personal and family objectives. Forget about what someone else may have! Our ultimate target is to establish genuine mid-life financial and emotional balance. Our primary goal is not wealth accumulation per se but lifelong peace of mind which flows from from an adequate mating of lifestyle objectives with sustainable financial resources. Lottery winners' only true prize is the ability to choose presisely how they wish to spend the remainder of their productive lives..
I know you probably did not win Power Ball or inherit $10 million from a rich uncle.. Like it or not, 95% of us in middle age cannot ignore the need to earn a living. (In view of the stock market swoon, more of us enter the "need-to-continue-working" club every day.) Will someone pay us to have fun in our jobs? Realistically, few can expect to enjoy every single working hour of every single day but there is no good reason why any truly renewed mid-lifer need remain in a stressful, non-fulfilling occupation.
If you are less than fully satisfied with your life and occupation today, begin by asking yourself how much income and/or personal financial resources you really need. How much will you require now and in the future to guard against uncertainty and maintain the lifestyle you and your significant others desire? Your objectives should never be based upon what someone else has. Personally, my personal desires do not require the income of certain Wall Street investment bankers who in December, 1999 complained that a $7 million end-of-year bonus was not adequate because contemporaries in a competing firm were receiving $10 million.(I'll bet those Wall Street bankers won't receive a $7 million year-end bonus this year!)
The goal for each one of us at mid-life is to establish an authentic lottery winner's mentality without winning a dime. To accomplish this, each one of us needs to resolve three deeply personal issues:
- How do I truly wish to spend the remainder of my income-producing years?
- What intrinsic economic value will my targeted activity contribute to others? In effect, who will pay me to have fun? (Note: others might include employer, clients, customers, your multi-level downline or stock and bond markets should your goal be personal trading or investing.)
- How much wealth accumulation and anticipated annual cash flow will I need to accomplish and sustain my chosen lifestyle today and to save for the future?
Now it is time to crunch the numbers and to answer to yourself the $5 million question: "Is cash flow anticipated from my targeted vocation, my spouse's targeted vocation plus present or anticipated future passive income sufficient to pay for life's necessities, rainy day savings and those luxuries and pleasures we earnestly desire?" As a final step you may need to stretch or bend either or both target vocation or lifestyle objectives. If so, make the tough decisions now, up front. You will need to limit vocational options to those where you can pay the bills. Your other alternative is to scale back lifestyle to retire early or to pursue the alternative vocation of your dreams.
For some, one vital step remains. You may need to scope out and arrange personal "gap financing" to travel from present to future. Interim funding often proves to be the most difficult aspect of mid-life transition and will require the iron resolve of Lance Armstrong and the flexibility of Spider Man. Financing sources sometimes must come from personal sacrifice, including the sale of a primary or resort residence. In these cases, you will need the strong conviction that a better future awaits successful transition.
As you move forward to confront today's financial challenges, always remember that a worthy ultimate objective is genuine enjoyment of all aspects of daily living, including but not solely defined by "work." Your full value as a person is not limited to the position described on your business card. To bring out our best and enjoy our journies to the future, we need to first establish genuine financial and emotional balance. Once embedded in our consciousness, we will have established a lottery winner's mentality. Though the world outside may moan and groan, no one can steal our confidence in our ability to infuence an ultimately favorable conclusion.
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